10 Frequently Asked Questions About Maui

Is nudity allowed on public beaches? If you are by yourself or with someone who will not be offended by your nudity, then yes. Otherwise, no. Refer to my blog on this typically Hawaiian law.

What’s the weather like? Due to Maui’s geography, there are several distinct climates. Maui’s west and south sides (Ka’anapali and Kihei/Wailea/Makena, respectively) are typically sunny, dry and hot, though global warming seems to be changing that. Northern and eastern parts of the island, like Hana and north of Ka’anapali, tend to be warm and wetter and more ‘tropical’ looking. Up on the mountain of Haleakala, it is cool to cold and often dry at the summit. Unless you’re hiking in her crater, moving to stay warm, or from Canada, you might want to wear something more than shorts up there.  No matter where you go, the sun is strong whether or not there are clouds in the sky. As for surf conditions, southern shores tend to be calmer in the winter months. In the summer months, north shores tend to be calmer. BUT, never count on these things. This isn’t Disneyland. Nothing is guaranteed.

What does ‘aloha’ mean? ‘Aloha’ is the real life equivalent of the word ‘smurf.’ It is usually used as a warm greeting or to refer to being kind, though it can mean just about anything depending upon who says it and the tone in their voice. For people in the service industry, ‘aloha’ is sometimes synonymous with “What do you want now?”

Where is ‘Turtleville/Turtle Town’? If you’re looking for that one spot where ALL the turtles go, where all those tour boats promise to take you, I’ve got news for you: There is no single Turtle Town. ‘Turtle Town’ is merely a catch-all term for where you might be more likely to see turtles more often than not. Usually, these are coral locations one- to two-hundred meters off shore in 20 to 30 feet of water. Each tour boat company has a particular place (or places) they go and will tell you its Turtle Town. Don’t be fooled. You don’t even need to take a tour boat if you’re a good swimmer or unless you simply don’t know where to find turtles.

Is the road to La Perouse Bay a one way road? I’m throwing in this question because it seems a tourist and her family of bicyclists were recently under the impression that the road down to La Perouse Bay is only supposed to travel north as far as cars are concerned. The mother yelled at the driver in front of me that they were on a one-way road and that we (the vehicles) were all going in the wrong direction. Now, I don’t know how this person thinks residents and tourists get back and forth from La Perouse Bay, but I assured her it was not by bicycle alone. Had she been observant, she would have noticed there are no one-way signs anywhere to be found near this southern point on the island. I understand her desire for safety when riding her bike on a narrow road, but she should be educated on the fact that locals really don’t care about sharing the street. Nor do tourists from places like China know about our right-of-way laws, a country in which bicyclists are actually considered a nuisance. Best to stay off the road down to La Perouse Bay, then. You are warned.

Is there any nightlife on Maui? That depends on what you mean by ‘nightlife.’ Maui basically shuts down at 9pm, but there is nightlife if you know where to go. There is not a whole lot of places to dance, though Cassanova’s in Makawao sometimes had electronic DJ’s. Dancing can also be had at Ambrosia’s in Kihei late at night, but be warned that it is a gay-friendly bar if you are a Republican. Live music, on the other hand, can be found all over the island but mostly in Lahaina and Kihei’s ‘The Triangle.’ If you want to karaoke, try just about any bar in Wailuku. Drinking, well, you’d be hard pressed not to find a place to drink in Maui. Consult Mauitime.com for venues and show times.

What are the best beaches? As with most other things on Maui, it depends on what you’re seeking. Ka’anapali Beach is a long stretch of sand on the west side that is usually bustling with activity. At the beach’s very north end is Black Rock, a favorite place for beginning snorklers to snorkel. If you just want to relax in the sun and water without too much bustling, any one of Maui’s beaches south of Kalama Beach Park in Kihei is a safe bet. While mostly a local’s beach on the weekend, Kamaole Beach III in Kihei has a very nice lawn at its southern end that is wonderful for sunset viewing.

Are there any sharks in the waters around Maui? Yes, Maui has more shark attacks than any other island. These are typically Tiger shark attacks. The white tip sharks you can sometimes find near shore are small and harmless unless provoked, and even then they are more likely to run away from you. While sometimes these attacks are fatal, they are rare and you stand a much better chance of many other bad things happening to you on any given day. You can minimize the chances of a shark attack by not swimming in the dawn or dusk hours and not swimming in cloudy or murky water. Also, get a good tan; pale white skin looks like the kind of fish sharks like to eat.

What kind of sunblock is best? Waterproof or water-resistant sports sunblock is best. Spray-on sun-block is horrible, both for you, the people around you, and the environment, especially when you spray it on and immediately jump in the water which washes it right off. (Can’t tell you how many times I see this happen.) DO NOT USE SUNBLOCK IN HONOLUA BAY! The coral there is dying and any chemicals in the water will make the situation worse.

Anything else I should know? Yes. Don’t stand on the coral; it is a fragile lifeform that takes decades to grow. Do not touch turtles and give them at least 10 feet of breathing room. (It is illegal to touch them, btw.) Do not feed the fish. Watch out for sea urchins near shore; they hurt like a mother. Do not expect to walk into any business and expect service right away; ‘island time’ is for real. Use GPS and flipping pay attention to it. Drive with aloha (see above).

80's Night at Gannon's, Wailea

You would think that given all the information on the Internet, there would more reviews about Maui nightlife. It is true that there isn’t a great deal of nightlife on Maui such as you would find on the Mainland and this is due to the fact that vacationers mainly come to the island for the beaches. Between this fact and the time difference between Hawaii and the rest of the world, Maui is generally a quiet place after 9pm. Not always, though. Outside of the well-known “Triangle” in south Maui’s Kihei – The “Triangle” being a collective of several bars – some Wailea and Makena restaurants occasionally turn themselves into a dance venue. During the summer months, once a month, Gannons in south Maui itself hosts “Gannons After Dark: The 80’s in Wailea.”

First, the facts: Gannon’s is located up a hill on 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr. The cover is $10 a person or $15 a head if you want to reserve a table. There is plenty of free parking. The event begins at 9pm and goes until 1am, which for Maui, might as well be more like 4am. Once inside, you will notice how spacious the venue is as most of the restaurant’s tables have been stored away, leaving a few tables surrounding the dance floor and outside on the lanai (patio). This is a breath of fresh air as it allows you to actually get to the bar without much trouble. On the other hand, there are some tables too close to the dance floor which cuts down on the actual dance floor area; the “dance floor” itself is actually quite small by Mainland standards. The crowd was mostly locals; about 80% by my estimations, with ages ranged from the 20’s to 50’s. The rest of the crowd was comprised largely of vacationing 20-somethings doing the bridal shower thing or looking to get out of their hotel rooms and away from their families. The drink prices are about what you would expect for this ritzier part of the island though surprisingly not all that insane. This is Hawaii after all.

The experience: My group arrived shortly after the party started at 9pm and by the time we walked in the dance floor was already hopping. It appears as though the locals take full advantage of any nightlife down this part of the island and I don’t blame them. We were also surprised to see how many people actually took the time to dress up in their 80’s paraphernalia: You had your aerobic junkies and jocks, preppies, Madonna-wannabes, neon-clad girls, metal-heads, etc. Actually, so many people put some effort into what they were wearing it made the people who weren’t in costume seem silly in comparison even if those people were dressed nicely. (Of course, I’m sure no one goes on vacation expecting to pack an 80’s costume, especially since Hawaii has long maintained a psychological connection to the 70’s.) The crowd was friendly and few people in this setting thought twice about striking up a conversation just for the sake of it. Unfortunately, as the hours and alcohol wore on, a few people did get out of control on the dance floor which was small enough to begin with. As The 80’s in Wailea seems to be a popular event, I would advise Gannons to back the tables away from the dance floor a little more. It just seems odd that given the amount of space available to the venue that they would try to box in the dance floor so much. (However, one suspects a more crowded-in dance floor makes for better photo and video opportunities.) Now that I think more about some of the tables being so close to the dance floor, I would advise against reserving a table as people are simply going to put their drinks down wherever they can find space, whether your table is reserved or not. If you really need to sit down, there were plenty of unreserved tables outside on the lanai.

Meanwhile, the music, supplied by local boys DJ LX and emceed by Jay J, was passable enough despite some early technical glitches. And I personally would have enjoyed the music more if they would have let more songs pay all the way through. It’s just as a musician myself, well, I probably pay too much attention to these things and maybe shouldn’t criticize. But I will definitely give DJ LX credit for mashing up several songs and giving a few of them some much needed backbone with some extra beats and bass. That aside, how much fun this event is doesn’t rely much on the DJ but rather the already high enthusiasm of the patrons going in. All things considered, I can’t wait for the next retro-80’s party at Gannons. I’ll be there; just look for one of the ten guys in zebra-striped pants.

Totally gettin' rad here!