There’s a few things you should know before visiting
Maui, the kind of things ‘they’ don’t talk about.
Weather
Small as the island is, Maui has several distinct
micro-climates. Depending on where you are on the Valley Isle you could get
scorched, sun- or wind-burned, drenched, or chilled to your bones. Let’s start
with “scorched”…
The Hawaiian sun does not play around. Even on a
cloudy day, even if you’re a regular at the tanning salon, even if you have
SPF-30 on – don’t go less than SPF-50, I say – you’ll probably get burned at
some point during your vacation (usually at the beginning). Around here, even
your ears need a good, strong sunscreen. Don’t forget those guys! What’s that,
think taking an umbrella to the beach will save you? Think again; light reflecting
off the water and sand is almost as potent as lying or standing directly in the
sun. You may think I’m kidding about the sun being strong even when it is
overcast, but don’t just take my word for it. Learn from experience if you
want, though it’s a decidedly more uncomfortable route to go. You have been
warned. [The sun is strong everywhere on the island but skies are usually
clearer with direct sunshine hitting the southern and western facing shores
most of all.]
The combination of Maui’s heat and humidity
occasionally sends people up to the volcano (Haleakala) summit to cool off, or,
people simply visit the summit to see the sunrise. The weather at the summit is
definitely cooler – about 15-20 degrees on average than the coast – but is
often quite windy, too. Like, really
windy, the kind of wind that’ll exfoliate you more than you want it to. Combine
that with the average 40 degree temps in the morning when you want to see the
sun rise and – let’s just say you should go up Haleakala dressed in layers. And,
rain can kick in any moment near the summit outside of the summer months. Even
then bring a poncho if you are determined to stay dry. Although, it’s usually
dry by the time you’ve hiked down 500 feet or so inside the crater as long as you stay east of Kuapo Gap on the
trek. That shouldn’t be a problem since Kuapo Gap is about 10 miles away on the
opposite side of the crater.
Speaking of getting wet, are you going to stay in or
drive the road to Hana? If so, then you’re going to get wet. There’s always a
50% chance of rain in Hana due to the weather pattern, meaning, on the day you
go there there’s an almost 100% chance you’ll get dumped on with torrential
water. At least that’s been my experience all the times I’ve been. (More on the
Road to Hana later.) Likewise in the northwestern area of Maui, up and around
the Wailuku area and beyond. Air gets pushed up by the eastern slopes of the
mountains, condenses, and voila! you’re wet. Granted, it doesn’t rain as much
up this way as it does in Hana, but still. At least bring a hat.
Sea and Surf
The Sea is a dangerous mistress. As of this writing
in 2013 there have been 8 shark attacks, 2 of them fatal, and yes these are
abnormal numbers. Shark attacks were also up in 2012, but this is getting
ridiculous. No one is sure why the number of attacks is up, but they are. Sure,
statistically speaking you are not likely to be attacked by a shark but if you
like snorkeling, splashing around in the waves, or fishing off a kayak you may
want to know this: Sharks in Hawaii are more likely to come near shore during
dawn and dust when light conditions are low. They hunt under such conditions.
That said, it is also wise to stay out of the water when the surf is cloudy,
usually the day after it has rained or when the trade winds have picked up and
made the water choppy. Don’t wear high contrast clothing or jewelry either. And
above all else if swimming, stay away from fishing boat as they have baited the
water nearby which may attract sharks. If fishing off a kayak, don’t dangle
your feet off the kayak for this very reason. That’s how the latest fatality
happened. If you’re still determined to go in the water, though, consider scuba
diving since sharks never seem to attack divers. Also know that in the summer,
the west and north shores are generally calmer for swimming and snorkeling than
south Maui beaches, while in the winter the weather pattern and currents change
and the south Maui beaches become calmer. Other things to know include not
touching the goddamn turtles unless they approach you and it cannot be avoided.
Same goes for the whales, but since it is law that you need to stay 100 yards
away from whales, that shouldn’t be a problem, right? Dolphins? Eh, they’ll
initial contact if they’re curious but don’t chase them down; it stresses them
out and they’ve got enough stress trying to avoid sharks. If taking a boat out
on a snorkel or other adventure tour, take Dramamine or eat something with
ginger an hour before getting on the boat. Many people who don’t think they’re
going to get sea sick do and once you’ve headed out, the captain isn’t going
back to shore unless you’re literally dying.
Driving
Island life comes with a number of hazards and one
of those hazards is driving. Why? Two reasons: First, the locals tend to drive
like bats out hell. Quite frankly, I’m not sure why since they’re not going to
do anything once they get wherever it is they are going. Hawaiians (ethnic and
senior haoles alike) aren’t exactly known for what might be considered a Mainland
work ethic and as such are on Island Time all the time they are not driving.
So, I don’t know why they drive so fast and dangerously. They run red lights
and think nothing of the concept of right-of-way or yielding. So, if you’re on the road and
see a car that doesn’t look like a rental, beware. Wait, I take that back; since tourists spend a lot of time looking at
the sights – usually the ocean during whale season – they spend less time
watching the road as they drive. This creates a lot of accidents as people
stray into oncoming traffic. While the number of collisions is nowhere near as
high on Maui as it is on Oahu, still. Please drive defensively, even on vacation.
Sugar Cane Burning
Did you know it snows on Maui? Central and south
Maui is often afflicted with what is known as “Maui snow,” black ash that rains
down on these parts of island from the burning of harvested sugar cane fields
between the central and south sides of the island. And it stinks really bad.
Unfortunately, the burning of the fields – which btw happens to be fairly toxic
– takes place most of the year and can really make south Maui beaches unsightly
when the wind favors the ash-fall. I suppose it could be worse if the HC&C
Company didn’t burn mostly in the morning, but even when they do, their trucks
are busy for the rest of the day raising a ton of dust clearing the debris,
making a drive between Kahului and Wailea/Makena in a convertible seems like a
terrible idea. The only way to avoid Maui snow is to stay on the west side.
Supermarkets
Finally, shit’s expensive on Maui and in Hawaii in
general. But, what do you expect? We’re out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean
here. As a consequence, Maui restaurants are generally way overpriced, even for
entrees that aren’t very good. So, if you ain’t prepared to pay the piper,
don’t pick up the flute. You have been warned.
Despite all this, there are certainly worse places to be. Just don't rush into things or expect too much and you'll be just fine here. Aloha!
