Secret Hike, Maui

My buddy and I went on a hike the other day that was quite enjoyable. I could tell you where it is but given the recent crackdown on hikers in Hawaii lately*, the most I can tell you is that it is along Hana Highway between mile markers 1 and 40 and may or may not be end at O’Opuola Point. It is a place apparently only locals know or will tell you the location of when they are plied with enough alcohol and pizza. I’ve heard of it referred to as the “Huka to the Puka” hike and “Puka Hike” but since there is virtually no info on this besides some Youtube videos, the designation is clearly made up, no doubt named by stoners who got lost in these parts. (The resulting trail was worn by their attempts to get back to Hana Highway, which they would have easily found had they headed in the opposite direction from the ocean. That’s my guess.)

[* “Too many” hikers are getting hurt or dying on hikes on private and government land, thus prompting law enforcement to act. Nevermind that way more people die just driving around here, or get bit by a shark, or die swimming/snorkeling, or get hurt stepping on sea urchins. Nevermind there is inherent risk every time you leave your house. Go after the hikers. That’ll teach everyone!]

At any rate, the trailhead – marked by any one of a million nondescript gates in the area – takes you through about 20 minutes of low lying jungle branches before opening up to a view of a rocky outcropping and a small rocky beach in a valley below to your right. There is a spur trail that apparently leads down to that beach, but

my buddy and I did not explore it this day. (You can’t see that beach in my video here, but it’s there.) As we neared the rocky outcropping, the terrain gets steeper and ropes are involved. The rope work here makes the Chutes and Ladders rope climb look like child’s play and if you don’t have decent upper body strength, climbing back out – especially near the bottom near the exposed lava rocks – is going to be a minor headache. (The ropes, mind you, are exposed to the elements out this way and are a bit rough on the hands, so you might want to take gloves.) Fortunately, it was dry this day and the ground cooperated. Frankly, I cannot see doing this hike in wet conditions due to the steepness of some of the trail and many exposed plant roots, to say nothing of dealing with wet rocks if you’re not wearing water shoes. I was not this go ‘round.

When we got to the bottom, we worked our way towards the left and around the corner to a sea cave. If the

surf is not up, you can swim across the ‘channel’ to the other side. I have seen a video in which some young men swam into the cave and were jumping off the rock therein and, no surprise, someone had to be medi-choppered out. Don’t be stupid; respect the ocean or something will go wrong. If you do elect to swim across the ‘channel,’ there are olivine pools and a very cool lava archway around the bend to the left. There is another beach you can see from the archway, but it doesn’t look as inviting as the first one I mentioned.

Having gone early, my buddy and I had the place all to ourselves though on the hike out we did run into some more people, evidence of the trail’s growing popularity. I hope they had fun and no one got hurt. And remember, pack it in, pack it out. Respect the land. Aloha.

13 Crossings Trail Maui

Park here.

Go there.

13 Crossings, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…Actually, while I would say 13 Crossings aka Makamakaole Trail is nice, it isn’t any more interesting than some of the other ‘wet’ hikes around Maui. In fact, if you do like ‘wet’ hikes, the kind of hike you’re going to get wet on, then 13 Crossings is about as easy as they come. (At least until the very end when you have to climb up one waterfall to get to the next. And even then you can climb more ropes and apparently go on and on and on…) The easiness of this trail – 3 miles out and back – makes it less interesting than some other hikes, particularly the wet hikes found along the Road to Hana which often offer ocean views. 13 Crossings offers no such view and the waterfall scenery is tame for a fellow such as myself coming from Oregon. The waterfalls are nice, sure, but that’s all they are. Nice. The pools of water up this way are cool, which is a nice respite from the easy bake oven that is Kihei so it’s not like this hike is without its plusses. Oh, and the trail does have a section of small bamboo forestry which, you guess it, is nice. If there is anything else to note, it’s worth mentioning that if you come to a large boulder

Nice.

forking the stream into left and right paths, go right. You can still go left and you will still be taken to a waterfall and swimming hole, but it’s not the one every other blogger talks about. Actually, it’s a little curious that no one else mentions this fact. Maybe they’ve got better trail instincts as I always seem to find myself going left when I should be going to the right. I’m sure that means something deeper than I am willing to think about.

Wrong waterfall.

Picturesque. That's why I took a picture.

Directions: Go about 1.5 miles past mile maker 6 on Hwy 340; mile marker 7 is MIA. Look for a hole in a fence on the mountain side of the road just before the road takes a sharp bend. Go through the hole and almost immediately begin your first stream crossing. 

Maui Brewing Company, Kihei

[This review is for the recently opened Maui Brewing location on the mauka side of Lipoa Parkway.]

The first thing that will strike you as you drive up Lipoa Parkway to Maui Brewing Company is how massive the building is. Seriously, it looks like an airplane hanger from the outside. That’s because this location is their new state-of-the-art eco-minded brewing location from which they plan worldwide domination. That, and they plan on opening a HUGE restaurant that will surely be to the chagrin of nearby Kono’s on the Green. Until now, I didn’t know buildings this big existed on Maui.

At any rate, the tasting room is really all that is open now, with the owner giving free tours of the brewery when he’s feeling whimsical. (That is, don’t come here expecting to get a tour.) The tasting room features all their brews neatly written on a blackboard over the bar, served

by an emotionally inconsistent staff (more on that shortly). Now, I’m a dark beer man myself and I have to say if you like dark beer, go beyond the already fantastic coconut porter for the Imperial coconut porter. Holy cow, you can chew this stuff it’s so thick! So you grab your drinks and you can grab one of the few seats indoors or you can head out the open bay doors and grab a table for a more communal feel. The view from this patio isn’t all that great; you’d think it be better this far up the road, but, not so much. If you want some grinds though the restaurant isn’t open yet, food carts on the road are currently servicing Maui Brewing’s food needs. So, all’s good. Well, almost.

A few things bothered me here. The female bartenders were unfriendly, the direct opposite of the male bartenders. I don’t know if the ladies are all cycling at the same time or what, but I found this off-putting. Second, Maui Brewing is selling a HydroFlask™ beer growler which clearly does not work. A friend of mine bought one, went through the wringer to get the leaky one he got replaced, and now the replacement doesn’t work either. Beware of the HydroFlask™ beer growler; it doesn’t work, period. Worse, Maui Brewing knows it and is still trying to offload them. That’s not cool in my book. It also doesn’t make sense that I can get almost a full six-pack in the supermarket for the price of one beer in the tasting room when the beer is might on location. Weird.

Still, I love their beers and I’m sure this will be an interesting location once the restaurant opens and the business park this location is part of grows. I’ll probably be back, but only for business lunches I can write off on my taxes.

Open 11 am to 10pm

605 Lipoa Pkwy, Kihei, HI 96753

808.213.3002

Commando Hike Maui, Sort Of

Disclaimer…I do not think just ol’ anyone is capable of doing this hike. The potential for a serious mishap is high. You will slip, fall, cut, scrape, and/or bruise yourself. And the higher the water flow, the tougher the hike is. This hike requires balance, limber joints and upper body strength. If you are not adventure-minded, skip this hike altogether. There is a reason why this hike does not appear in any guidebook.

My buddy and I stopped at the gate just passed the mini-bamboo forest hike, about .25 miles passed the 6.5 mile marker on Hana Highway. We jumped the fence there and trudged up a path to the left, being careful not to agitate the very hefty cow lying in the shade (who would still be there hours later). Other reviewers say you have to pass a field of cows, but we only encountered the one. Then, at the top of the hill we could see a reservoir. We went down a slippery grassy slope to where we could meet a stream feeding into the reservoir. (Meaning, if you’re facing the reservoir, the stream will be towards the left side of it but not passed the gate that will be further on your left on the trail. I suppose you could go around the other side, but that would be a much longer walk.) And on up that stream we went.

Just another 7' high wall in the stream.

Very quickly we learned that neither my hiking shoes nor my buddy’s sneakers would grip the slippery rocks, basically forcing us to spider-walk much of the way upstream. Even as an experienced hiker myself, multiple time we caught ourselves saying, “Are you kidding me?” as we bruised our ankles against rock after rock. Navigating the stream took focus and it got a little bit old fast. I don’t remember how far upstream we got, but at an early point we encountered a fork in the stream. We decided to go left and it turned out to be the wrong way, so, go right at the fork. Of course, we didn’t know that at the time so we kept going upstream to the left, sometimes through 6 feet of water, never seeing the thicket of vines you’re supposed to encounter and wondering when the hell it was going to be over. Eventually we came upon an access road and man-made drainage ditch at that point we knew we were way off course.

Thinking we were screwed, we wandered the access road going downhill, figuring we’d try again some other day. Somehow, we turned left at Albuquerque and stumbled upon the exit of the cave portion of the Commando Hike! We couldn’t believe it. We checked out the

Going DOWN to the cave entrance.

surroundings and our way out was either down a 70 foot cliff or back through the cave, basically doing the Commando Hike in reverse. (A third option would have been to continue down the access road, but we hadn’t thought of that yet.) Since I wasn’t jumping off the cliff we went into the cave and made our way towards where the entrance is supposed to be. I have to say this part of the hike was really fun until we saw the part of the entrance where you shimmy up the 10 foot waterfall and we both refused to go down this way. It just looked too tricky. So, it was back into the cave and out the way we were supposed to go. Again, fun, until my buddy said he was stuck between two rocks where there were no hand holes to lift himself up and out. Somehow he squirmed his way free and we continued up the cave. There is a 10 foot rock wall inside the cave to climb but it was pretty easy since the rocks were rough and easier to grab. (Well, my buddy did slice a finger open on a jagged rock.) Oh, and you will need headlamps for this bit as it is really dark in the cave.

Once we came out the other side, we were quite proud of ourselves. Not only did we go a much longer way upstream than we should have, but we did the cave portion of the Commando Hike down and up. Booyah! But we weren’t done yet. We turned left to a really sweet water hole with a small cliff to jump off. There was an option to grab a rope and climb the waterfall there, but the day was wearing on and we had no water or food with us. Stupid? Yes. We hadn’t planned to be out there so long but apparently shit happens. So after my buddy jumped off the cliff, we went back to the access road, backtracked a little bit, until we could keep heading downhill keeping the hike’s ravine to our left and the ocean in front of us. The car was a blessed sight. Flatbread Pizza Company here we come!

Our little adventure would have been better had we packed food and water in a dry-bag, but hey, there’s always next time. It may be a while but I’m sure we’re game for another go ‘round. Also remember to go right at the fork in the stream. You can thank me later with a brew. Cheers.